Tilt (torture) Test

My tilt test was funny as it was scary. You're supposed to lie down on this bed with your feet up against something that resembles a cushioned headboard (yun pala, footboard), then they strap you up real tight so you can't escape (harhar---it's more like para you won't drop onto the floor face down when they tilt you), plus connect you to an ecg and bp monitors ( i keep typing B.o !).

The nurse asked me to come in 15 minutes early so she could strap me and take my initial ecg readings na, but i'd just had some lunch , ergo, lotsa softdrink to wee-wee out pa--so she had to wait a while.
Then the doctor came in and the strapping down began. As soon as i was tilting 80 degrees, some panic set in na, but i forced myself to relax. The crazy doctor pa gyud was kidding me pa about the monitors used for seeing a coma or cardiac arrest coming on...then he switched Tv channels and started watching a soccer match! Aaargh! There should be a rule na they're compelled to put on a tape of shows like Will and Grace, or Friends, or Frasier, or a James Bond movie or something---para malingaw ang pasyente, no? Coz, like the good doc said, the tilt test was one of the most boring tests---patient, doc and nurse waiting and watching for almost 45 minutes---so all the more dapat makalingaw or distract ang palabas sa tv, di ba? but instead, the tv was on soccer and it's like ga-yawn na ko.

If you aren't familiar with the tilt test, what they do is tilt you at an angle for 30 mins or so, wait for a fainting episode to happen (that is, if you're a suspected vasovagal syncope person). IF nothing happens, they give you this tiny yummy pink dot of a pill---yun pala, it induces a fainting spell. And boy, when that starts to happen, abi gyud nimo, ma-dead ka na! The nurse is constantly trying to look for your bp, and then you hear the doctor saying to the nurse., 'ano, wala ka nang mahanap?' and your head starts to spin and your chest constricts and you start gasping na gyud for breath!!! I just closed my eyes na lang and gasped for breath till kingdom come---which was when the doctor started putting my 'bed' back to vertical position. Phew! Gasp! Did I say the doctor said this was the most boring test in medical history???